I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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