listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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