What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
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