dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
