My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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