If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Randomize
