I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
