remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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