I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
