O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
