so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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