hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
