he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
home. puking in laundry basket.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i believe in u and ur pee
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