awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
