did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
