The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize