He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
