I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
