I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
