I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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