Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
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This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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