It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
