Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Randomize
