tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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