i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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