Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
