Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
