please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize