wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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