So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She said her name was "party"
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
