the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
