As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize