that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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