I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
