thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
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He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
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I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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