Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
