It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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