Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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