Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We had sex on a dog bed..
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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