Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
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Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
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FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize