So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i dont even know how to be here
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
