thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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