wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
