i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
