it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
