Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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