You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
