You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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