I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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