I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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