do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
