Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
