how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
