I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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