I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
