I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
