Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
pop tarts are not kleenex
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
