All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
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