Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
you never un-have a 4some
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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