Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Floor bacon is actually really good
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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